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The Divorced Dad Special

A tiny little table, but solid as rocks, that a nice guy bought for his family. I hope they're beating the hell out of it.

The Divorced Dad Special

This one I found on craigslist. It might be the first and only piece I've ever gotten there. Some woman who had owned this for million or so years was making room for something nicer and just wanted it gone. I obliged.

It looked like hell, but underneath all that neglect was a fine piece of oak. Heavy as hell and nearly bombproof by the time I sanded it down to wood and refinished it. The chairs were equally solid. One, as I remember, had to be re-glued. Not so bad.

But because it was so small, only 42 inches long, I figured it had to be a starter table for someone just moving out of their house because of a divorce. Being someone who has been in that position who bought an equally small dining table for the sake of maintaing some shred of normalcy in my new place, I figured why not market it just like that.

This was the ad copy that ran in local Faceboook groups:

Listen, dude. You seriously gotta have some kind of table in your sad, empty apartment before the kids come over for next Wednesday’s Spaghetti Dinner at Dad’s New Place.
You can go to IKEA, sure, and you’ll get some un-assembled table kit made of tongue depressors. Or you can have a scintilla of pride and get this real table made of real solid oak that’s heavier than all three of your kids combined.
It’s refinished, solid as bricks and small enough to put anywhere. The top has so many layers of protective poly there’s nothing this side of nuclear meltdown that’s gonna mar it, so when you move out of that hovel and into a real house, you can use this as a desk or a breakfast nook after you get an actual dining room table. The four chairs are also oak, solid and protected.
Also perfect for you, sister. Stop eating dinner on the couch with your cat, solving Wheel of Fortune puzzles. It’s sad. Get a table like an adult.
L: 42” x W: 30” x H: 28.5” First with cash money gets it. No, no, no holds.

A very cool guy named Garrett bought it. He was getting divorced and needed a small table for his girls when they came over to his new place. He said he this was exactly what he was looking for. He was nice enough to send me a photo of it in his kitchen, which was really cool of him indeed.